Our society systematically devalues our wants and desires. Someone who greatly values their own desires is considered selfish and irresponsible. We are taught to put what we want on the back-burner, and ultimately, just forget about it all together.
Eventually, this becomes a habit, until we forget what it is that we wanted in the first place. We are so disconnected from our desires that we come to accept that we don’t enjoy our work and become complacent.
But enough is enough. It is your life, and your time is precious. Allow your wants and desires to resurface, and give them the attention that they deserve. It is time to put yourself first.
The first step to finding fulfilling work is reconnecting with your own desires. They will be the guide on your journey.
2. We believe in “talent”
Once we reconnect with our desires, we often realize that we’ve got a lot to learn before we can make a living from our passion. This is where most people stop.
Do I have what it takes? They wonder. The problem isn’t with the wondering, the problem is with the answer we often give ourselves. “I’m just not that talented at __” we might think to ourselves.
Let’s get one thing straight: There is no such thing as talent. Anyone who was ever really good at anything spent an inordinate amount of time learning and practicing.
No one is born a talented actor, singer, ballet dancer, programmer, manager, etc… But those who have the passion in their hearts find the time to become good at it.
So forget about talent – it does not exist! Instead, start learning, until you become an expert at what you love. And then, everyone will exclaim: “What talent!”
3. We’re afraid of change
Even when we realize what we need to do to make our dreams a reality, underlying much of our inaction is a potent fear of change. We are afraid to rock the boat. We are scared, that somehow, if we make the smallest step towards our dreams, it would shake the underlying core of our lives, and everything will fall apart.
But what we need to realize is that change is natural and is essential for our growth and development. Nothing ever stays the same anyway. But by taking charge of your life, you control the direction of the change!
leaving is not enough; you must stay gone. train your heart like a dog. change the locks even on the house he’s never visited. you lucky, lucky girl. you have an apartment just your size. a bathtub full of tea. a heart the size of Arizona, but not nearly so arid. don’t wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes, your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them. you had to have him. and you did. and now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic. make the first bottle you consume in this place a relic. place it on whatever altar you fashion with a knife and five cranberries. don’t lose too much weight. stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. and you are not stupid. you loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. heart like a four-poster bed. heart like a canvas. heart leaking something so strong they can smell it in the street.
“People want to believe gender is something that’s essential, and people repeat these essentialist ideas all the time. “Oh, women do that” and “Oh, men do that” and the reality is that all women don’t anything. We as individuals do what we do, you know, and sometimes that’s informed by gender and sometimes it’s just who we are. And I think all that just makes people really, really uncomfortable because they don’t want to think about who they are.”—Laverne Cox (via lucrezialoveshercesare)
Dusty words lying under carpets, Seldom heard - well, must you keep your secrets Locked inside, hidden deep from view? Well, is it all that hard? Is it all that tough? Well, I’ve shown you all my cards - now, isn’t that enough?
“We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted all along.”—Alain de Bottom (via alexithymia-daily)
the 40’s and 50’s had a really cute aesthetic however the dark underside of over patriotism, greed, racism and sexism make me content to simply steal the dress patterns and be glad I’m not living during the time period.
“The trouble is that, for women, being “nice” often translates into putting up with things we should never put up with. How many times has some creep sat uncomfortably close to me on the bus and stared me down, yet I’m too afraid to just get up and move, lest I offend him?
We smile when we’re harassed on the street or hit on by jerks. We laugh at sexist jokes. We learn that when we have strong opinions, we’ll be called bitches and that if we get angry, we’ll be called hysterical. When we say what we want, we’re called pushy or aggressive.